Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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