I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
