would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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