Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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