Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
