i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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