I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
