i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
