all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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