I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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