I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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