Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
