Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
