Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
