Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
