There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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