i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She has the best kind of daddy issues
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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