I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
