There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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