There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
