is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
