redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
