I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
