oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
