Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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