how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
