How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize