this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize