What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
