I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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