Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
