Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
