I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
