His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
