sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
