I bet he comes in French.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
