Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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