he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
