If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
