so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
