I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
