If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
