Your tits are I can't wait for
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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