it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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