Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
