On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
