It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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