You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
