You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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