just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
