umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
