5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
