problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
