It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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