Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
