I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
