I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
