as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
