Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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