after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
