lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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