So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
