Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
